Important Emotions to Consider While Inheriting a Home

Written on Saturday June 9, 2018 by Bob Hinrichs

Emotions and inheriting the house

Inheriting anything can be a confusing, overwhelming and emotional occasion. Inheriting a HOME is a huge event, so it’s natural for feelings to be all over the place and elevated. When there are other family members involved who may or may not have co-inherited the home, the situation becomes even more challenging. At surface level, it can seem like siblings/relatives are jealous, angry, etc.; however, if you do some research on it, there are many of psychologists who explain what’s really going on here… Let’s go through some important emotions to consider while inheriting a home.

Family Emotions to Consider While Inheriting a Home Together

Today, we want to walk you through some of the emotions that are commonly expressed during times like we described above and what they really mean so you can communicate with your family members better. It’s our hope that with better understanding, your family can leave this occasion united rather than ripping each other apart. Before we move forward, please understand that we aren’t licensed/trained psychologists. With that in mind, remember this article exists solely to provide a POTENTIAL perspective of what your loved ones may be feeling.

Old Feelings Return

As we mentioned previously, it’s not uncommon for people involved in an inheritance to express concerns about their siblings or other relatives being “jealous” over what one person was left versus what they were left. But when you really think about it, it may not be jealousy at all. One of the biggest reasons this is a challenging time to get through is because it means you just lost someone you probably cared a great deal about. Because everyone grieves differently, it’s possible that you may misread someone else’s feelings and become sensitive about it. It’s common for old feelings to return if siblings are part of the equation.

For example, let’s say your sister was closest to your parents because she was their primary caretaker near the end. It’s possible your parents may have left her the house while leaving you and your siblings other meaningful items. You might envy your sister when in reality she’s feeling overwhelmed. She might envy that you received something you received. Not because of the actual items left behind, but because of the meaning or sentimentality of what your parents chose to give you.

Final Interaction with Deceased Loved Ones

Because leaving an inheritance is the final “interaction” between parents and children, it carries a lot of weight and emotions. Sometimes what may seem like jealousy or greed could actually be insecurities surfacing regarding a person’s relationship with the deceased in the past. A lot of past feelings, memories, etc. will resurface during the grieving process. This is seeing a therapist individually as well as in a group can be so helpful at this time. It will help you sort out your feelings, understand your siblings, and communicate more effectively about your true emotions. It will help you stay united after the loss of the head of your family.

As we said, we aren’t psychologists. Because of that, we won’t dive deeper into detail about the emotions you and your family members might be feeling; however, we did want to at least bring to your attention the possibility of misreading emotions during this difficult time. Don’t take everything at face value and if possible, consult a professional to help you work through any familial issues.

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